The best things in life bring... guilt.

I'm not Catholic, but I live with a wife who is, and let me tell you that the amount of guilt she is able to have is astounding! Now don't get me wrong- I don't think that guilt in moderation is a terrible thing. In fact, I would argue that some guilt is needed in any good society. Most of our laws and values are based in some degree on guilt. Thou shall not sleep with the neighbor's wife. Why not? It is wrong. Why? Even if nobody finds out, moral people would feel guilt.

Now, I am not saying I am moral, but I do feel guilt about many areas in my life. The one area that I want to focus on in this post is guilt in the area of eating. I had previously written about bad eating habits, including poor food choices, eating at the wrong time of day, and eating on the run... just to name a few. I freely admit to being guilty on many occasions of all of those offenses.

Getting a gastric bypass is not a guarantee that all those bad habits are a thing of the past. Using the example of sleeping with the neighbor's wife again, it would be like video cameras are put up in every room of the neighbor's house. Sure, you can still go sleep with her, but know that if you do, extremely bad things will follow!

For the most part, I have followed the plan the has been set by the experts for me in regard to eating. I focus my meals around protein and nutrient-rich foods. With my stomach being the size it is, that doesn't leave room for other types of foods, specifically carbohydrates. So I have been a good doobie for the most part.

Lately however, I have been struggling with my renewed appetite, and that has forced me on occasion into making choices that haven't always been the best for me. One of my biggest flaws is that I eat on the run. I still do. Early out from my surgery, I would grab a protein shake, and that would more than fill me up. As time went on, I started to get tired of the taste of these shakes, and turned to protein bars. The ones that worked best for me at first were the Pure Protein bars. From a nutritional point of view, these were a decent choice. The problem that I was having with them was that they were making me very gassy, so I searched for an alternative that wasn't too loaded in sugar. I switched to the Zone Perfect bars. While admittedly the nutritional value isn't as high as the Pure Protein bars, I enjoy the taste, and they agree with my system better. The problem is that they are pushing 200 calories per bar.

               

Recently, I have found that these bars aren't keeping me as full as they once did. I was actually eating about 5 bars each day! And that is also about the time I noticed my weight loss come to a screeching halt. I knew this was happening, but I was hungry, and while teaching, it is tough for me to sit down and have a decent meal. So I fought the guilt and ate the bars. Maybe this explains my excitement for finding an alternative like soy crisps. Since I cut back on the protein bars, my weight loss has resumed.

Sure, I was feeling guilt about eating those protein bars. However, it was the guilt that forced me into restructuring my eating habits. Along with the soy crisps, I always try to have healthy and filling alternatives at work. Some of those choices that have worked for me are bananas, low-fat cheese, cottage cheese singles (on soy crisps), almonds, and fat free yogurt. I know that because of my stomach size, that I need to eat 5-6 small meals each day. That is a tough concept to sell to someone who has been overweight his entire life.

I also occasionally get comments from others, especially at social events, that although well intentioned, come off as intrusive and have a guilty motive. "Oh, I didn't know you could eat that after your surgery." "Here, try this pasta. Just a bite won't hurt you." And then there is my all-time favorite, from my mother (love you, mom), when she baked my favorite cookies for my kids that she hadn't baked in years, "Oh, you should taste how great these came out." Ugh.

Yeah, there is plenty of guilt in eating.

Ironically, I am enjoying cooking for my family more than I ever have. Sure, sometimes I make myself a recipe that is gastric bypass friendly, but more often than not, I cook for the enjoyment of others. And do you know what? I find that post-surgery, I can take a bite of what I am cooking, and that is usually enough for me. I don't feel like I am missing out on the flavor of foods! I love food, and surprisingly have not had to give up that love since surgery. Sure, I love it differently. I suppose, using the neighbor's wife example again, it is like I know the cameras are all over her house, so I meet her at a hotel! Bada bing! All good!

I also have to measure my guilt in a number of ways. Should I ever reward myself with food? I do. On occasion. Cold Stone Creamery has amazing product called Sinless Smoothies, made with Splenda. And, you can add in protein powder for an extra 10g of protein, which is essentially like drinking heaven. I don't do it often, but while in Florida, I will admit to having more than one of these bad boys. I drive right by a Cold Stone Creamery every day on my way home from work Why don't I stop? Guilt. That, and I am also addicted to McDonald's sugar-free vanilla iced coffee, so I choose to stop there.

So guilt will always be a part of my eating life. I hope to keep using it as a tool to better understand my body and my mind. I know there will be struggles with what I eat, and many challenges to come. But if I keep in mind the many victories I have had with my health, both on the scale and off, I can afford to occasionally do some things that make me feel guilty.

*** DISCLAIMER- I HAVE NEVER BANGED MY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE. ***