A few (some deep and some not so deep) thoughts about my weight loss journey...
* Man cannot live on protein bars alone. Way too much gas...
* Running is not as painful after you lose 183 pounds. I can't say that I have had no discomfort, however. As strange as it sounds, the nipples on my moobs get very sore and ultra-sensitive. I suppose this is from the salt in my sweat. No pain, no gain I suppose! I guess my left knee is slightly sore as well. But none of this is enough to slow me down.
* I made a wicked sugar-free blueberry cinnamon compote the other day. It was very simple. In a 3/4 hot pan, I combined about 2 pints of blueberries with 2 tablespoons of Smuckers sugar-free grape jam. I stirred until the jam was completely mixed in with the blueberries. Then, I added about a teaspoon of lemon juice to the mix, as well as 2 tablespoons of ground cinnamon. I cooked, stirring, for a few minutes, until the blueberries started to break down a bit.
My kids had this over vanilla ice cream, while I have added a teaspoon to Greek Yogurt for a delicious addition! I am glad I tried this, because I think when berries go out of season, and I need to rely on frozen berries, this will be an amazing alternative. Plus, the cinnamon gives the concoction a buttery flavor that I absolutely love! Enjoy!
* The BoDeans and the Del Fuegos have some really good songs to put in a running playlist. I think I need to focus on music and running on an upcoming blog post.
* Running does have many side effects. I have incredible levels of energy and stamina, my core muscles are becoming developed as never before, and I always feel a great sense of accomplishment whenever I run. There is one side effect, as I have discovered, that is not so pleasant. While it has not impacted me during my runs, it has shortened a couple of my longer runs. Runs... haha... get it? No? Click the link... http://www.10k-running.com/1/post/2010/03/is-running-a-natural-laxative.html
* During my weight-loss journey, some days are better than others. Today fell into that "others" category. One thing I have discovered is that as you physically change, people around you change as well, in the way they view you and treat you. I was always known as "that happy fat guy". Now that I have lost all my weight, I don't think that I am putting up with as much crap in my life. Maybe this is because my confidence level is much higher, or maybe I am just more aware of how I interact with my friends and family than I was. I am really not sure.
Whatever it is, the "new me" is demanding in a way that has impacted several relationships in my life. Some of the people that I expected to be the most supportive people in my life, have actually been the least supportive. Now, I won't mention any names on this blog, but I have already written about my mother and how that relationship has changed. And there are others. Some are other family, and some are friends.
I have a few people in my life who are on the heavy side, who have essentially ignored me since I have lost my weight. And these are people who I used to be very close with. Maybe they are uncertain as to how to approach the topic, or maybe they are uncomfortable because I am now smaller than them. I really don't know. I like to think that I can have conversations about weight-neutral topics, but starting those conversations seems to be the tricky part. I do remember what it was like to be overweight though, and I don't judge others. If anything, I probably understand the insecure thoughts in their heads more than most people. But by the same token, I don't want to force a conversation either. I never want to have someone view me as the "look what I did but you haven't done" kind of guy. It is not who I am. I just hope that these people remember who I was, because that part of me hasn't changed and I hope it never will.
Most people treat me exactly the same way as they did before. Now, that can be either a great thing or a bad thing. I have some wonderful friends, who treated me with love and respect before my weight loss... well, maybe not respect, but very much so with the love! Anyway, most of those friends have not changed how we have interacted since I have dropped the pounds, and for that I am grateful! And the ones who treated me poorly before my weight loss, are slowly being purged from my life. And you know what, when this purging happens, it is no big loss for me! I realize how they treated me before, and I have chosen to make a positive change in my life.
I have been blessed, though, with a new and growing list of supportive people in my life. Some I have met through the weight-loss surgery, while others through various other parts of my life. In many of them, I have found a level of support and friendship that I never expected, and am so grateful for it! I have decided that through this journey that I am traveling, I will keep my heart and mind open to new people. As Will Rogers once said, "A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet."
And then there is the most painful group of people for me... those who I expected to be fully supportive, but rather have turned into negative influences in my life. I have to say that my mother is a prime example of this, but not the only one. There are other family members, and a few friends, who could slide into this category as well. With these folks, just ending a relationship is not an easy thing to do. I agonized over what I did with my mother, but in the end, I know I did the right thing. For each person in this list, ending that relationship would cause untold upheaval in my life and in some cases the lives of others. Using the example of my mother again, several other people in my life used the occasion of a run I had last weekend to try and guilt me into rekindling the relationship with my mom. I found their efforts, while probably well-intentioned, self-serving and offensive. But I know that the choice I made has impacted my kids, among others. It wasn't an easy choice, but I believe a necessary one.
One example I can use is my run. All of my family is well-aware of what I am doing. They know what I have accomplished to get where I am physically. They should be able to appreciate the great cause that I am running for... but to date I have had two donations from my family. Now, in fairness, I have over a month until my half-marathon, and I am pretty sure most of them will step up and support me. However, when my wife told me today that some family members have not decided whether to support me, because they are angry at me because decisions I have made about my commitment to running, I almost fell over! Apparently my decisions about living a healthier lifestyle has inconvenienced some of my family. Wow. This is my big decision... do I break ties with more family members over this sort of thing? Obviously this too would impact my kids and others, but I am stunned that people who I counted on to be supportive forces in my life, have become so openly destructive toward my success. This is a painful process for me to go through, but I have started to forge my way through it. How it all ends up I have no idea. All I know is that I have to keep focusing on the positive, and wherever possible, purge the negative.
I read with interest the situation between you and your Mom. So sorry, hope she will get some "visiting" priveledges for Carl and Maggie, now that she is fired.
ReplyDeleteThis brings up an interesting concept. If/Who/when do you tell people in your close circle. It is TOTALLY a personal choice.
I told my parents about 4 weeks pre-surgery. Kinda threw them for a loop, but they have been very supportive.
But the Mother in law side of the family. We were just not going to tell, as felt that judgements may be made or unsolicited advice. But my chatty son, in his phone calls told his Uncle that Mom was in the hospital having bypass surgery(They read into that Heart...). we received a paniced phone call and felt the need to share at that point. Was post surgery and I was home.
I was comfortable telling my work collegues/family prior to the start of school, as I was going to be out. Figured that was better than the rumor mill. And I was able to draft a letter that clearly defined my reasons and OUR(Bill and my) decision. Asked that the students not be told.
But I was not telling my church family. The family, next to your own, that you should be able to trust not to pass judgement. I just wasn't going to take that risk. So only 2 people in the congregation know. Only missed one Sunday. The first sunday(9 days postop), my slowness could be passed of to hot flashes, and humidity.
With Great Weight Loss, Comes Great Responsibility...
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