First, a bit of catching up...
As of last week, my weight has continued to creep down. I actually saw 206 lbs. on the scale, which has me down a total of 183 pounds! And while I am proud of those numbers, I need to remember that they are only that- numbers. More important is the pride I am feeling in some of the things that I have accomplished physically.
I have now completed several races. The 5K races were my first step, and I have completed a few of them (with another one tonight in Greenfield, NH).
On the 4th of July, I finished a 4-mile race in my hometown of Cumberland that I remember watching my friends run as a kid. That was a great experience, as it meant quite a bit to me having friends there to cheer me on! I have even run beyond a 10K length while training, which still seems unreal to me.
But the biggest race for me thus far has clearly been the Warrior Dash. For those who are unfamiliar with what this race entails, it is a 3-mile race through muddy trails that require the runners to complete about a dozen obstacles, such as a fire jump, a 20-25 foot wall climb, and a variety of rope climbs. Oh, and did I mention the mud? I have never seen so much mud in my freaking life! Most of the time the mud was ankle deep, but occasionally, it turned waist-deep! I ran this race with two close friends, Anthony and Meri, and I have to say that it was an absolute BLAST!
While the fire jump (also known as the Warrior Roast) sounds like it was the most difficult to complete, it actually was quite a bit of fun.
For me, the most difficult was the Warrior Wall. I hate heights. I never understood the need for humans to leave the safety of the ground. Even flying makes me uneasy, but that is an occasional necessity I suppose. So when I had to climb straight up over a mud-covered wall, with only mud-covered ropes to help me achieve this, I was in a near-vomit induced panic.
And then I looked over to my right, and realized that I was being filmed. Oh yeah, did I mention the camera crew that was following Meri and I around? Meri kind of got us involved in a reality show project called Big Dreams, which is sort of a celebration of things that people accomplish after massive weight loss. It is actually a very cool concept, and there are some extremely inspirational people that are involved with the project. Anyway, I decided that I had worked my ass off to get to this point, and that I needed to defeat the wall! So I did. It took me a while, but I did it! So in the end, it became official- I am a warrior!
Through it all, though, I was struck by how truly alone I am on this journey. My family was not able to be at either the Warrior Dash or my July 4th run in Cumberland, which was tough on me. I was painfully reminded that the reason that I have decided to have the surgery, work out regularly, and lose all the weight, was not for the approval and accolades of others, but so that the guy looking back at me in the mirror would be able to live a long life and make the biggest difference possible in this world. At times that is a tough lesson to learn, and I continue to struggle through aspects of it, but in the end the reward is so much better than what I had when I started.
So after my Arnold Mills July 4th run (and finishing repainting a bathroom in our home), I got in the car and drove 1000 miles to Chicago to pick up my wife and kids, who were visiting her family. While I was only out there for a few days, we did have a pleasant visit, and managed to even spend an evening with the kids in Milwaukee at Summerfest watching the Dropkick Murphys!! THAT was fun!
And while in the midwest, I did manage to even take advantage of the flat terrain and go for a few runs in the heat, including a 5.5 mile run from Kathleen's parents place in Wilmette, IL, through Evanston, and ending up at her sister's house in Skokie, IL. Over the past 20+ years, I must have driven that route hundreds of times, so to be able to run it was fun!
We left for home last Sunday morning, and I decided to make a last-minute unscheduled detour to further conquer my fear of heights. The Sears Tower recently constructed a glass-bottomed sky deck, which allows people to walk 4 feet out of the 103rd floor of the building, surrounded by nothing but a glass enclosure, including the floor! Yes, you look straight down 103 floors. As a person with a phobia of heights, I have mentioned more than once that anyone who decides to walk onto that ledge is pure f***ing nuts! So when I pulled up to the tower, my family looked at me as if I had lost my marbles. In a way, I have. But then again, I am not the same George I was even 6 months ago. So we waited in line, rode the elevator up, and approached the sky deck. I was breaking out in a cold sweat, my stomach was doing flips, and I was shaking. And to make things worse, my kids immediately embraced the situation- my son sat cross-legged on the glass deck, while my daughter did a back bend over the city of Chicago!
So I had no choice- I had to do it. I never did look down, but I walked onto the deck, had my picture taken, and then got to the elevator as quickly as humanly possible. I did it. I will never do it again, but I did it!
Being able to run, for me, cannot be the end, but rather a means to the end. I have learned to love running, and I anticipate that I will be running numerous races in my future. But in my heart, I want to channel that ability to run and be very active into something more positive. I want to be able to make a difference in the lives of my family, my friends, my students, and even people who I meet along this journey, as an example of how someone can positively change his life for the better. Who knows how successful I will be. All I know is that I have climbed the warrior wall and have stepped onto the glass ledge, so I know that all things in my life are possible.
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