Is losing weight courageous? I think not...

 

I have been bombarded over the past year or so with mostly well-meaning comments from friends, family, and acquaintances. I have been told, "you look great!", "Look at you! You are half the man you used to be!", and "I bet it must feel great losing all that weight", among many, many other comments. I do appreciate the thoughts and well-wishes of others- I really do. I am not always comfortable with them, but at the same time, I do realize that such a dramatic change in my outward appearance is bound to get some reactions.

There is one particular comment though, that I have received a bunch of times, that I just don't understand. Many people have come up to me and said, "You are very courageous to do what you did." Really? Frankly, I disagree.

The dictionary.com definition of courage is:

cour·age

–noun

1. the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

2. have the courage of one's convictions, to act in accordance with one's beliefs, especially in spite of criticism.

What I did in having the gastric bypass surgery was two things. First, it was self-preservation. I know that if I did nothing about my weight, I would continue to have deteriorating health issues, and would be dead in 10-20 years max. The surgery has taken away all that ailed me, including sleep apnea and high cholesterol, and I am prescription-medication free! The second thing that the surgery did for me was improve my quality of life. I can now play with my kids without getting winded. With the weight loss, I have had a surge of energy as well.

But with all of those positives, I still don't agree with the label of "courageous".

Courageous are members of our military, who serve halfway around the world to keep our homeland safe. Courageous are first responders like police and firefighters, who routinely put themselves into dangerous situations while any normal thinking person would be headed in the other direction.

If I was to equate someone having this surgery to the word "courage", I would have to use the example of my friend Meridyth. While I would think that Meri would tell you that she did the surgery for many of the same reasons as I did, there is no getting around the fact that she has one major difference: she is the primary care giver for her gorgeous daughter Charlie, who is completely dependent on Meri. Why I equate her story with courage is that, to make the decision to have gastric bypass for her was more than why I did it. I think that it takes incredible bravery to go through major abdominal surgery, when one of the primary reasons is to be able to take better care of your child. While the other reasons are still valid, it is inescapable that the surgery for Meri was more of a risk than it was for me. I am thrilled for her that it was successful, and also for the fact that she continues to be successful in her weight loss, while still being a great mom to two beautiful kids! She may not know it, but she is a huge inspiration to me to be a better dad, a better husband, a better friend, and a better person.

Yet, while I can't equate my decision to have weight loss surgery as courageous, I do think that it was a good decision in the scheme of my life. As of this morning, I weighed in at 217 pounds, which is a loss of 172 lbs in just over 13 months. The surgery was a tool that helped me get to a healthier weight. From this point on, however, it is my daily decisions that will dictate whether I can stay at this weight. Will I work out today? Will I make the right food choices today? Will I attend that upcoming support group meeting? The surgery has put me in a position to make smaller, yet equally important decisions. Still, I can't equate the decisions that make my life better with courage. Courage is much more selfless. It doesn't minimize what I have accomplished in any way, but it is just not courageous.

Recipe: Florentine Egg Drop Soup with Mini Chicken Meatballs

One of the things that has gotten me through the cold winter months has been soups. This is one that was pieced together from a variety of other recipes, but works great together. Loaded with protein and pretty simple to make, it is a favorite of my family and friends!

 

Florentine Egg Drop Soup with Mini Chicken Meatballs

Mini Chicken Meatballs

(this part of the recipe was stolen from Giada... mmmmm... Giada.... mmmmmm)

1/4 cup plain bread crumbs

1/4 cup chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

2 large eggs, lightly beaten

1 tablespoon skim milk

1 tablespoon ketchup

3/4 cup grated Romano

3/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

1 pound ground chicken

Soup

Ingredients:

• 8 cups chicken broth or stock
• 4 eggs, lightly beaten
• 2-4 green onions, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon white pepper
• 1 bag spinach, chopped

Directions

Meatball Preparation:

In a medium bowl, stir together the bread crumbs, parsley, eggs, milk, ketchup, Romano cheese, and the salt and pepper. Add the chicken and gently stir to combine.

Using a melon baller (or a teaspoon measure), form the chicken mixture into 3/4-inch pieces. With damp hands, roll the chicken pieces into mini meatballs.

In a large (14-inch) skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Working in batches, add the meatballs and cook without moving until brown on the bottom, about 2 minutes. Turn the meatballs over and brown the other side, about 2 minutes longer.

Soup Preparation:

Combine the chicken broth, cooked meatballs, chopped green onions, and white pepper in a large soup pot. When the soup comes to a boil, reduce the heat, add the spinach and simmer, covered, for 20-30 minutes. Remove soup from heat and add the beaten eggs, using the tips below.

Tips for making Egg Drop Soup:
 Lightly beat the egg so that no bubbles form

Turn off the heat the minute you begin pouring in the egg (this produces silkier threads)

Pour the egg in a very slow stream (pouring it through the tines of a fork from several inches above the pot is a good way to keep the stream slow and steady)

Begin stirring as soon as you start pouring in the egg

To make shreds or threads, stir rapidly for at least 1 minute

Stir the beaten egg in one direction only 

This will make about 12 servings, with each serving containing about 200 calories, 6.8 g of fat, and 21.1 g of protein. This is close to the perfect gastric bypass food! 

Memories of my dad

I lost my father 9 years ago today. My dad was overall a decent person, but was also a very sad person in many respects. Having been the product of emotionally abusive parents, he was unable to successfully navigate many aspects of a normal life. While not a perfect parent, he did care deeply for Scott and I, and guided us to be relatively decent adults. He adored his grandchildren! He was also blessed with an amazing personality and a wonderful sense of humor. His favorite holiday was April Fool's Day, which makes it so ironic that that was the day he died. My dad was also a deeply sentimental person. He was unable to part with physical memories from his past, which led to him becoming a pack rat and a hoarder.

For all his wonderful traits, my father could not handle many other aspects of his life. His marriage to my mom redefined dysfunctional. Although on paper they lasted over 30 years before a divorce, my memories of their relationship are mostly poor. Even though he was a graduate from the Naval Academy, he struggled in keeping a job. He always loudly questioned authority. I always likened my father to a modern day Willy Loman. He always had the biggest dreams, but the reality never quite lived up to those dreams. In the end, he was a broken man.

The toughest memories I have about my dad are the way he handled his health. My dad was an obese man. He developed type 2 diabetes. He had undiagnosed sleep apnea- his family knew. Yet despite that, he ate the wrong foods, and was an alcoholic. I had to slowly watch his downward cycle for the last 15 years of his life. Watching my dad slowly kill himself was incredibly tough. I started to fall into that cycle, until I realized that I couldn't help him unless I could help myself. He was a grown man, and I could not make decisions for him.

I was fortunate that I never had type 2 diabetes. I wish the research in the link below was available to my dad. I believe that if he had the same surgery I had, that he would probably still be with us today, and would be driving us as nuts as he ever did!

I miss you every day, dad, and I love you.

Bariatric surgery highly cost-effective treatment for type 2 diabetes in the obese, study suggests