Memories of my dad

I lost my father 9 years ago today. My dad was overall a decent person, but was also a very sad person in many respects. Having been the product of emotionally abusive parents, he was unable to successfully navigate many aspects of a normal life. While not a perfect parent, he did care deeply for Scott and I, and guided us to be relatively decent adults. He adored his grandchildren! He was also blessed with an amazing personality and a wonderful sense of humor. His favorite holiday was April Fool's Day, which makes it so ironic that that was the day he died. My dad was also a deeply sentimental person. He was unable to part with physical memories from his past, which led to him becoming a pack rat and a hoarder.

For all his wonderful traits, my father could not handle many other aspects of his life. His marriage to my mom redefined dysfunctional. Although on paper they lasted over 30 years before a divorce, my memories of their relationship are mostly poor. Even though he was a graduate from the Naval Academy, he struggled in keeping a job. He always loudly questioned authority. I always likened my father to a modern day Willy Loman. He always had the biggest dreams, but the reality never quite lived up to those dreams. In the end, he was a broken man.

The toughest memories I have about my dad are the way he handled his health. My dad was an obese man. He developed type 2 diabetes. He had undiagnosed sleep apnea- his family knew. Yet despite that, he ate the wrong foods, and was an alcoholic. I had to slowly watch his downward cycle for the last 15 years of his life. Watching my dad slowly kill himself was incredibly tough. I started to fall into that cycle, until I realized that I couldn't help him unless I could help myself. He was a grown man, and I could not make decisions for him.

I was fortunate that I never had type 2 diabetes. I wish the research in the link below was available to my dad. I believe that if he had the same surgery I had, that he would probably still be with us today, and would be driving us as nuts as he ever did!

I miss you every day, dad, and I love you.

Bariatric surgery highly cost-effective treatment for type 2 diabetes in the obese, study suggests